Sunday, February 10, 2013

14 Days of Fulfilling Your Vows

Growing up, I remember my parents going on dates once a week.  It was something important to them.  Now, with all four kids out of the house, they are closer than ever and still date each other.

We have friends, a young couple in their early twenties, that do not yet have children.  Yet the still date.  Once a week they take time out to go on a date. 

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Why is dating so important?  Life is busy.  Life is hard.  Life can wear down a relationship.  We need that one on one time with our spouse to reconnect.  As my parents discovered, the kids grow up and move away.  Then it is just the two of you.  If they wouldn't have taken time out to date very regularly, I do not believe their relationship would be what it is.  As our friends know, one day the kids will come, they need this time now to really get to know each other and build up that bond. 

There are many excuses to not date our spouse. I have heard them all.  Honestly, I have said them all.  We don't have the money.  We don't have the time.  We don't have a sitter.  I can't handle any more time with him.  

Ladies, if you are the last one and say, I can't handle any more time with him!  I feel ya!  A couple of years ago, my husband was laid off for the better part of the year.  I got a glimpse of retirement and it scared me!  (smiles)  We drove each other crazy.  But dating gets you out of that every day routine.  It's not having the kids around, the dogs barking, the phones going off or arguing over who changed the last diaper.  It's just the two of you.  That time is so important.  If you said, we just don't have the time.  Let me ask you this, do you have any other choice?  How can you not take the time to date your husband?  It should be a priority.  Never a matter of not having the time.    

If you were one that said we don't have the money or sitter, here are a few ideas to help get you going. 
  • Take a walk around the neighborhood.  Just the two of you enjoying God's nature and talking.
  • Drive to the lake or a park.  Take along a favorite dessert from home.  If you both like to read, take a book and read to each other.  Play on the swings.  For our anniversary one year, my husband and I walked to the park and played on the swings.  It was a wonderful date!
  • Make dinner for just the kids, a simple meal.  Then when the kids go to bed for the night, have a nice candle lit dinner just the two of you.  Afterwards, catch an old movie on tv or dance to 'your song.'
  • Once the kids go to bed have dessert and play a board or card game together. 
  • It's garage sale season!  Drive around and hit a few garage sales.  Set aside a certain dollar amount you can afford to spend.  Once that is gone, just stop and look or just take a drive. 
  • Find a neighbor (one you trust) or friends with children.  Trade off babysitting.  They watch your children for free while you go out (or stay in) then the next week you watch their children for free. 
  • Find a neighbor (again, one you trust) or relative and trade services.  Such as, if they need their lawn mowed or house cleaned, you do that for free and they watch your kids for free. 
And lastly, there is one more excuse I used often to not date my husband.  He doesn't make the plans.  As much as we would love for our man to be a romantic and plan something wonderful for us, if he doesn't, we should.  It doesn't mean that he doesn't want to date us or doesn't love us.  Men think different than women.  Maybe it just hasn't crossed his mind.  So you plan something for him.  Taking the above ideas, if you see that his favorite movie is on tv one night, make that a date time.  If he asks for a certain dinner you make, make that a date night.  Make the plans for him!

We must take our marriage seriously and make dating a priority.  What better way to fall in love all over again!  

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  1. What a beautiful post Jenifer! Such a great reminder to treat our marriage as tenderly as it should be. Thank you for participating in our 14 Days of Fulfilling Your Vows series, you are a blessing!

  2. You made me cry! I thank God for helping us keep Him in the center...I thank God for allowing us the time to 'date' while you kids were growing up...I thank God for allowing us to STILL take time to date, even though we are 'empty nesters.'

    Love, Mom

  3. This post is a blessing to me today. Although my husband and I have been in the habit of making time for one another in many of the same ways that you have listed here, we have been lax since he has been working the night shift. Thank you for the post.
    -Gilded Grace


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