LIGHTBULB MOMENTS IN MARRIAGE

Have you ever had a lightbulb moment? Like someone filled a switch and ah-ha, now you get it? I think we've all experienced a lightbulb moment at some point. As a homeschool mom and former children's pastor, I've seen kids get these lightbulb moments when a math theory finally clicks or when they begin to understand who Jesus is. Lightbulb moments can change our whole life. So what if we had these life-changing lightbulbs in our marriage?

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has a new book, Lightbulb Moments in Marriage: 12 Biblical Perspectives for Successful and Satisfied Couples. In his book, Eggerichs says, "Marriage, at its best, can be a place of affirmation, joy, and purpose. But when it breaks down, it can cut deeper than almost any other wound." That is most certainly the truth. Marriage can be full of beautiful highs and painful lows.

Eggerichs tells us, "If we do not root our worth in Christ, we will subconsciously demand that our spouse provide what only God can give." It seems easy to find our worth in our spouse. When they are happy with us and life is going good, we feel worthy, confident. But when life gets tough or our spouse pulls away, we quickly lose all self-worth. That's a sure sign that we are seeking our worth in our spouse, in another flawed human, not in God, and that can lead us down a dark and winding path.

Couples often have the same goal for their marriage, but if they do, why is there often so much conflict? Eggerichs talks about how we are on the same team and have the same goals, but the plays are different. Just as there are many different paths for me to take to the grocery store from my house, there are different plays that can end with the same desired result. He says, "We want a satisfying marriage emotionally and s*xually-but how best do we cultivate that? By connecting emotionally first to awaken s*xual desire or by connecting s*xually to draw our hearts closer? Same desire and destination. But often very different routes. If most couples thought about it for a moment, they would realize they have a shared vision and common goals on most things. They both want to live with peace in the home, enjoy financial stability, and stay healthy and active into their later years. I need to make a strong statement: Christ-following husbands and wives have more in common that where they differ." If we just pause and realize there may be two (or even more) different ways to hitting the same goal and that we are on the same team, we could stop the conflict and work together better.

I've really enjoyed Lightbulb Moments in Marriage. Each chapter has incredible lessons, Eggerichs' own stories, and he points to Scripture often. Here is what you can expect to find:

1. Our value: God-given, not spouse-driven.
2. Our intent: seeing Jesus beyond the shoulder of our spouse.
3. Our eternity: living with "well-done" in mind.
4. Our worldview: the Holy Word, not Hollywood.
5. Our clarity: understanding each other, not just talking.
6. Our harmony: same team, same goal, different plays.2az
7. Our acknowledgement: not wrong, just different shades of right.
8. Our tension: don't let the 20 percent define the 80 percent.
9. Our self-awareness: when I get defensive, do I get offensive too?
10. Our authenticity: motivation without manipulation.
11. Our forgiveness: not offending, just misunderstood.
12. Our empowerment: free and strong when I live out "my response is my responsibility."

To find out more about Lightbulb Moments in Marriage click HERE.