Thursday, August 2, 2012

A Legacy of Love

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The relationship I have with my son is a difficult one.  I love him with my entire heart, he is my world.  If you are a mom, you know I would lay my life down for him without even a thought.  But he has always been somewhat of a moody little boy and entering these early teen years have just made him all the more moody.  I have been working really, really hard on trying to understand him and be the best mom for him.  I am currently reading The Five Love Languages and praying that God reveals to me exactly how to connect with my son.

I have also been working how to not be a 'yeller' but to remain calm.  God has given me Proverbs 15:1, "A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger."  So when my son begins to get angry, begins to get frustrated, I close my eyes, breath a prayer and try to remain calm.  Yet most times, he remains angry.  The other night, after having a long, hard, draining battle with him, I went to God broken.  God, it does't work!  The more gentle I become, the more angry he gets.  Is that verse a lie!?  Why isn't it working God?  Now, I know that the Word of God is all truth.  There is no doubt in my mind.

God gently told me, I am still at work here.  Give it time.  Persevere.  Press on, you can do it.  While my son may still be dealing with anger, I can trust God and still work on my gentle answers.  I don't want my son to ever doubt my love for him.  I don't want him to ever doubt that I care and like him.  I don't want him to grow up thinking I tolerated him only because I had to.  I want him to grow up with complete confidence that he was and still is loved by his mother.  I want that love to grow and help him to love back.  I want that love to help him to love his future family.  I want there to be a legacy of love in our family that passes on from generation to generation.  In order for this love to exist and to grow, I must be gentle and loving, even if he is not ready to be.

Friends, if you are dealing with a similar situation, maybe your child, your spouse, a co-worker or neighbor, don't give up.  Regardless of how they respond to you, work on your gentle answers.    

Sweet Blessings~

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  1. Beautiful words and I can truly relate! God so has our backs, and our children's. Some of the most powerful things we can do as mom's is to simply pray over them, and through the rough times, He's always there, answering!

  2. Such good advice, and suggested gently:) I know as an adult, I appreciate with when people speak gently to me too!

  3. Beautiful post dear Jenifer. As the parents of 6 we have lived on a roller coaster since the first one became a teenager 40 years ago. Blessings to you. Thank you for sharing.

  4. Prayers for you! The teen years aren't easy at all. I love that verse. I'll have to pass that on to my husband. He get's very frustrated when my teen and tween get moody and annoyed. I try to tell him you can't match anger with just doesn't work!=) It can be hard though to dish out the love when you don't get it back in return. =) You sound like an awesome mom and I'm sure God knew you would be able to deal with this situation with His help! =) God is good...and he does come through. =)

  5. Lori, so true! God always has our backs!

    Mandy, yes! I like when people speak gentle to me as well!

    Peggy, it surely is a rollercoaster! But what a wonderful ride! :)

    Patti, oh thank you so much for the prayers! Much appreciated.

  6. My dear, if your boy knows anything at all, I'm certain that he knows his mom LOVES him with all of her heart. When we meet up with something that we cannot conquer on our own, that's when God gets to do a work in us and in the other person too. Sounds like God is at work.
    Hugs, cindy
    It makes me think of the song "He's still working on me, to make me what I ought to be." That goes for parents as well as the children, right?!

  7. Bless your heart. I'll be praying for you and your son. Most of our children know our love, even if they don't admit or respond to it. What a good and encouraging post for others struggling with the same thing.

  8. Beautiful post, Jenifer.


  9. I know this post really came from the depths of your heart. I have a similar issue with my daughter. We need to trust God and His timing. I have a poem that I picked up when I worked as a case manager with the homeless. I will email it to you. The main point of the poem is, we are planting seeds now. We may not see the results any time soon (wish we would). But they are there the kids are listening and God will work things out for His good in His time.



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