DIFFERENT, BUT IN AGREEMENT

I hate TV. He loves TV.

I love to read. He hates to read.

I love sweets. He loves meat.

My husband and I are so very different. We are night and day really. Sometimes I wish he would hate TV and love to read with me or that we could skip dinner and go straight for dessert. But that isn't him. It's me. It is okay to be different. Actually it is good to be different.

But when it comes to marriage, there are a few things that we need to be in full agreement on:

• Marriage is for life. Divorce is not an option, therefore the word divorce should never even come up. (This does not apply if you are being abused in any way.  Or if one party has been unfaithful, though God can heal this situation.  If abuse in any way is an issue, please email me at jenifer@w2wministries.org for prayer and help.)
• Honesty is the best policy. You will always be completely honest with your spouse.
• Your marriage is a top priority and you will treat it as such.
• You will respect each other and never put the other down, especially in front of the kids.
• Choose Who you will serve (Joshua 24:15) and make God the center of your home.
• Always calmly discuss big issues, such as: disciple for the kids, finances, where to live and worship, and other large issues.

These are six things that you and your husband need to be in agreement on. If any of these are grey areas for the two of you, first spend some time in prayer that God would guide you, then in love sit down and discuss them with your husband. It is okay, can even be good to be different, but when it comes to these areas, we need to be on the same page.

What are some good differences you and your husband have? What are other are that you think a husband and wife should be in agreement on? Share with us!

WHEN TRUSTING YOUR HUSBAND'S DECISIONS IS HARD

As painful as it is to admit, sometimes I have a hard time trusting my husband to make decisions. It's not that I am controlling, because I'm not at all. I tend to be a very indecisive person. Mostly I am indecisive because I am always afraid of making the wrong choice or letting someone down. When my husband has to make the big decisions, I worry about what if he makes the wrong choice or we let someone down because of his choice.

Our husbands have a lot weighing on their shoulders. We say we want them to lead our family and home, and that's a big responsibility. At times it might be scary for us to watch them lead and wonder what will happen. Yet it can also be scary for them. If work is slow, our husbands worry about supporting their family. If you are in the middle of a crisis, your husband worries about protecting his family. It's a lot to have resting on your shoulders.

Our husbands want to lead and provide and they want to do a good job of it. So how can we trust them to do a good job and make good choices? By trusting God.

God promises to be with us and never leave us. Therefore we can place our husband in His hands and know that God is leading him.

The Lord Himself goes before
you and will be with you;

He will never leave you nor
forsake you. Do not be afraid;
do not be discouraged.

Deuteronomy 31:8

Never will I leave you,

never will I forsake you.

Hebrews 13:5

Lift your husband in prayer each day. Pray that God would guide him in all his decisions and lead him to make good choices. Whether it is finances, a career path, how to protect the family, relationships with others, or any decision he makes, ask God to guide him.

When we understand that God is leading our husband and when we lift him in prayer regularly, we feel at peace about letting him lead as God has called him to.

THE WIFE NOT TO BE...

How many times do we have to ask our husbands to put their shoes up? How many times do we have to remind them to bring the trash cans up to the house after the trash truck comes or put their plate in the dishwasher? Most wives will say they are always telling their husband to do the same things over and over.

Our husbands have a special word for this constant reminding and asking. It is called a nag.

I am going to go out on a limb here and guess that when we start nagging our husbands, it sounds more like Charlie Brown's mom than it does a loving wife asking her husband to do something. 

God has a lot to say about a nagging wife. Let's look.

Better to live on a corner of the roof than

share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Provers 21:9

Better to live in desert than with 

a quarrelsome and nagging wife.

Proverbs 21:19

Better to live on a corner of
the roof than share a house
with a quarrelsome wife.

Proverbs 25:24

If we nag our husbands, they will prefer to live on a corner of the roof or in the desert than in the house with us. I don't know about you, but I want my husband to desire to be with me, not on the roof!

My husband is a shoe fanatic and he is always leaving his shoes out. I used to nag him constantly over this. At one time I counted and he had five pairs of shoes around the house not put up correctly. My constant nagging him to put his shoes up did not make him want to do it, it did not make him do it, but it did frustrate both of us. After praying about it, I decided to stop the nagging. The fact is, he knows where the shoes go, for whatever reason they just don't always end up there. I stopped nagging and left the shoes. If they get in my way, I will put them up myself. I found that it takes less time for me to put them up than to nag him about it. After a few months of this my husband is better about his shoes. Not perfect, but better. If the are out now and I walk over to get them he will say to me, "Oh sorry I left those out, I'll get them in a minute." And normally he does. 

Ladies, we need to pray and ask God to help us not be a nagging wife. Then when you are tempted to nag, instead, tell your husband that you love him and appreciate all he does.