Wednesday, December 1, 2010

To Yell or Not to Yell

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

I am a mother of four precious children.  I stay home with my kids and have homeschooled for the past four years.  My kids are such a sweet blessing to me.  I have always called them my blessings from Heaven.

Today I am going to be brutally honest.  About six years ago, when my blessings where little, I was trying to record some music from the radio.  I stuck the tape (yes I said tape!) in and hit record.  Later that day I went back in to listen to the recorded music only to find I did not record music.  I recorded our day. 

What I heard on that tape had me on the floor in bitter tears.  That wasn't me.  It couldn't be.  The voice on that tape did not sound like a Godly woman or a gentle mommy.  I was heart broken. 

I laid the kids down for a nap and hit my knees.  My prayer was simple, "God, please take the ability to yell away from me."  I sat there weeping and quietly praying for a few more minutes then got up and went about my day. 

The next time I became stressed and the kids were acting up, the very next day, I opened my mouth to yell and nothing came out!  It was like my voice was gone. 

One, God had heard the cry of a heart broken mother and answered my prayer.  Two, I realized when things get tough and I become upset, anger is never the way to go.  Proverbs 15:1 tells us how important it is to speak in gentle tones. 

Yes there are still times to this day that things go bad or the kids are acting up and I yell.  Each time I have to stop and remember that God delivered me from yelling.  Harsh, angry words never solve anything.  They just upset all involved.  We were never promised that life was going to be a bed of roses.  Our kids will mess up, they will frustrate us.  But just as we do not like to be yelled at, neither does our family.  I have always told my kids being angry itself is not bad.  It is how you deal with that anger than can make or break you. 

I want to encourage you, if you are a 'yeller' whether it is at your children, spouse or just in general, pray and ask God to help you over come this.  

Sweet Blessings~


  1. This is really good, you know my struggles. Even now I struggle with yelling but I have been making a huge effort to stop yelling at my babies so much. With God all things are possible! Thank you for this post!

  2. What a wonderful post!! Hearing what we are saying and how we are sounding can make us realize just what we are doing. I don't believe anyone wants to be yelled out and yes, we can overcome all things in Jesus. Thanks for the reminder.

  3. Jenifer, I think all parents have hit this point at some time in their lives. While our children are our biggest blessings, they can also inspire staggering frustration which can easily lead to overreaction on our parts. May God help us all be better parents, spouses and people in general.

  4. I was a terrible "yeller" when my kids were little. But God is really helping me with this. Everywhere I read in the Bible, I come across scriptures dealing with our words. Today I read 1 Corinthians 13. Love is patient, love is kind - I'm not always patient or kind, but God is changing me. I'm a work in progress. :)

  5. oh too!!! i've found myself getting angry over 1st grade homework!!! more like severely frustrated :-0 but i've committed it to Him and i'm a work in progress...

  6. You are an excellent writer, my friend. I was not a yeller, and I am SO glad. My kids are grown and neither one of my kids are yellers, and for that I am very grateful. Funny, both of my sisters are yellers, I wonder why.
    Hugs, Cindy
    PS You gave me a good chuckle when you forthrightly told me that you were not a follower! I knew it was a typo and I had to laugh. Don't worry!

  7. Oh Jenifer, I so relate to this. I am also a homeschooling mom of 3 and was raised in a house of anger and yelling and of course I also struggle with it. Only God has brought me to a place where I a learning to control it and the victory is so very sweet! Thank you for you for being so vulnerable and honest... awesome post!

  8. Cindy, when I went back and saw my typo, I felt horrible! I am so glad you understood. :)

    Heidi, this was hard for me to post because it hurts me so bad that I have treated my precious children this way. But, praise God for showing me where I was wrong and helping me work through it.

  9. Wow! Thanks so much for sharing this. Whenever I yell, I feel a gentle tug from Holy Spirit. I really must work on this. I especially am reminded of my inappropriate behaviour when I hear my daughter using a tone that is not acceptable (and sounds just like her mommy). Lord hear our prayers.


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