After being married almost 18 years, I am still learning how to be married. After being a mom for over 17 years, I am still learning how to be a mom. After being a friend for many years, I am still learning how to be a friend. But one thing I have learned for sure is that each relationship is important in its own way and each one needs to be cherished.
One way I've learned to cherish my relationships is asking myself if it is worth it to fight to be right or fight over something insignificant and damage the relationship. Or is it better to keep my mouth shut and keep the relationship.
Sometimes being "right" isn't important at all. It's definitely not worth damaging a relationship or worse, losing it. My husband and I have learned to "pick our battles" with each other and our children. My 12 year old son used to have a rat tail. He did it because he thought it looked neat. And his hair curls when it gets long, so his little rat tail looked more like a curly piggy tail. Everyone around us continually commented negatively about it and asked when we were going to make him cut it. Well, the thing is, it's just hair. No, we weren't big fans of it. But it's hair! Hair, he really liked. If my son is making good grades, being respectful, doing his part in our family, why on earth would I worry about his hair!? Being right was not important. I specifically remember a time when my husband and I were on a drive and went through construction. He made a comment about the way the street was before. But I knew for a fact he was wrong. I had grown up close to this street and driven it hundreds of times. I knew that I knew that I knew I was right and he was wrong. But arguing the point with him, trying to prove I was right, where would that get me? No where. Being right was not important here either. I don't want to damage my relationships with the need to be right.
Author Susie Miller shares, in her new book Listen Learn Love, 3 important skills for developing your relationships. Skill #1 is listen. Now that may sound simple, but Susie goes into great depth here and teaches what it means to listen and how to not just hear, but listen. Skill #2 is learn them. To really learn about them. Learn what makes them them. Skill #3 is love them well. She teaches us how to truly love others and how to put them first.
For all our investments in career training, health, gym memberships, or financial futures, we often forget to invest in the most important and influential things in our lives: relationships.If we can learn to truly listen to others, learn about others and love them well, we will improve all our relationships.
Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday